Dreams
by screeching canary
Summary: If you dreamed mostly about the person you loath, how would you feel? LJ. ONESHOT.


**DREAMS**

**screeching canary**

It amazes me how complex dreams can be. My mum once told me that you cannot remember one when you wake if the dream was completed, and you can remember if you wake whilst one. I'm not so sure if I believe that theory though, but the excuse works when someone inquires one about it. "I wouldn't know," I would say. "I woke too late to know." They would chuckle, and shake their head humorously. I, Lily Evans, are a person of logic, and I simply cannot understand the concept of dreams. What are their purpose? I know books wouldn't be able to explain it, but I've tried to search for the answers in the crumpled pages anyways and I've found nothing useful.

I don't even know why it bothers me so, maybe it's because of the dreams I've been having lately. They don't seem to make sense. It's the type of dream I wouldn't want to come true, because it scares me. A lot. If I could possibly control these night visions then maybe I would be satisfied, but I cannot, and it frustrates me. It's always the same one yet different scenery and environment but I know it all means the same thing.

James Potter.

He's always there.

Even if it means arguing with him, he's there. Admiring me, yelling at me, playing with my hair, chasing after me, trying to get me to fly with him on a broomstick, trying to kiss me, hugging me, lecturing me, seducing me, hanging out with me, going to Hogsmeade with me, flying off the Astronomy Tower with me..

Wait. I think it was just James falling off the tower.. and I pushed him.

But that's not the point.

See, I've never liked James Potter. Not in friend wise, romantic wise, acquantice wise. He's was always one of those boys that would bother you during your adolescent years claiming they were madly in love with you but you knew it was just a petty attraction. Then when you meet up during Hogwarts reunion, you'd tease them about having a teenager crush on you. Hopefully, it's a crush. If James Potter was really in love with me, like he says he is, then that would be a little.. creepy.

James Potter has been gushing over me ever since the end of my fourth year. The first time he asked me out (publicly, mind you), I just couldn't say yes. All the morals I've build up, all the respect I had for myself just wouldn't let me agree to date him. He was an arrogant bullying toerag. It's not like he's attractive either - he has this unruly ebony hair that that sticks up (only because he runs his hands through it constantly) and his glasses are always skewed at the bridge of his nose. Potter's also part of this group called The Marauders. They have nicknames for each other and everything. There must be a really good reason three boys call him Prongs all the time with a straight face.

Plus, the boy doesn't even know me. All he knows is that I have a fiery attitude, and fantastic grades. He doesn't know that I dread to go home this summer because I'd have to spend it with my sister and her fiancee. He doesn't know that I secretly have a desire to sneak around the castle during the middle of the night without anyone knowing. He doesn't know that I'm allergic to pumpkin pastries and peanuts. He doesn't know that to be smart, I have to sit in the library and study my arse off, while he skips around the castle with his good mate Sirius Black.

And he especially doesn't know that I have wild and crazy dreams about him.

Although lately, he's been better. Of a person, I mean. Professor Dumbledore appointed him as Head Boy this year, along with me, as Head Girl. There must be a good reason though. The Headmaster is a logical person, if I say so myself, so there has to be a good reason to make James Potter the Head Boy. He's stopped asking me out too - it's a miracle, I know. I agree wholeheartedly. And in the beginning of the year, he wanted to be FRIENDS with me! It was scary, he seemed excited about it.

I couldn't just say 'no' when his hazel eyes sparkled magnificently when he heard me say I'd consider it. It was too hard, I had to agree. And what's the harm in being friends with him? Maybe he's come to his senses and decided that he really isn't in love with me, and it was just a mere phase that took him an awfully long time to come over.  
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I woke with a start, and rubbed my eyes wearily. My red hair was drooping over my shoulders, and slightly frizzed. I ran my pale hand through the locks absently, and heaved a sigh. "Good morning, Lily!" A perky voice cheered, and snapped my drapes open. I turned on my side, facing the other direction of this noisy scoundrel, but she ripped my warm covers right off me. "You missed first class with McGonnagall, you know."  
My ears perked, and my head automatically lifted from the soft pillow with a jolt. One of my friends, Alice, was standing at the edge of my mattress - with a wide grin, and her blue eyes dancing merrily at the sight of panic probably smacked across my face. "You are kidding, right?" I breathed, narrowing my emerald eyes at her.

Alice shook her head. "You caught me, Lily. I'm guessing the joke become old after you seriously overslept that time. I remember it clearly, it was the first day of second year, and you and Marlene were trying to pull an all-nighter but you didn't think that you'd miss the first class, and - "

"Yeah, yeah. I know the story," I mumbled, and lazily stood up from the cozy mattress. Personally, I didn't want to remember that story. Professor McGonnagall gave me a weeks worth of detention, and kicked me out of her classroom for showing up in the middle of her lesson. You wouldn't believe how much embarrassment I suffered that day from the Slytherins, who witnessed the old witch attack me with verbal harassment.

I fled to the bathroom a few feet away, with my black cloak in my hand, along with my Gryffindor wardrobe I've been wearing for the past six years - but a different size. Alice remained sitting at the edge of my bed, who was examining the non-moving photos hanging on my side of the dormitory wall. "Is that your sister?" she inquired, with disbelief.

I raised an eyebrow, and observed the photo she was pointing at. It was Vernon and Petunia, standing together, fingers entwined, maliciously smiling to the camera. I cringed - how could her sister be attracted to someone so ugly. He had a large head - practically without a neck, and he was a few inches shorter than Petunia herself. Petunia had always been so overprotective over me before I was eleven years old, and she always seemed like the perfect older sister to me. Everything shifted when I found out I was a witch (from Severus Snape, whom I met at a local park near Spinner's End). She changed. I still respect her a lot though. "That would be her, and her gorgeous fiancee." Alice's eyes widened, and I winked jokingly at her.

I laughed, and shook my head at Alice's look of disgust. "Alright, I'm starved. Let's get to breakfast before Pettigrew eats all the biscuits like yesterday morning."

Alice and I left the girls' dormitories and headed downstairs to breakfast in the Great Hall. It wasn't particularly crowded at the Gryffindor table. I suspect everyone overslept just like I would've - if Alice hadn't charged into my room and ripped the covers off of me. Hmph. All of the professors were already sitting at the High Table in the front of the hall. Professor Dumbledore was having a quiet conversation with Professor McGonnagall, his face reading urgency and worry. Professor Flitwick, on the other hand, was listening intently as Professor Slughorn waved his hands in the air excitedly, his face beaming. I snickered. He was probably telling the poor old man an enchanting story about his young days.

"Good morning, Lily!"

I steered my gaze from the High Table, and turned to my dark-haired friend. Marlene McKinnon. This girl and I have had the wackiest and wildest times these past six years. We've gone through everything together. She's in my year, and also on the Quidditch team. She's Chaser along with Potter. I'm practically dragged to her games every year since my third year. "Hmm, good morning to you too."

"How did you sleep this morning?" she inquired, with a small smile.

Inwardly, I wanted to scream at Marlene for asking an idiotic question. Then I remembered that I haven't told her about these dreams yet. Oops. How did you sleep? Hah, well. Do you really want to know? Last night, I had a dream that James Potter was sitting in the Three Broomsticks with me, in Hogsmeade. I seem to have finally agreed. Our conversation was a little fuzzy in my mind, but I'm sure we we're talking about how different our lives would be like out of Hogwarts. Like I said, if I had a choice to not dream these things, I wouldn't. They're insane. I'm insane.

I poked my scrambled eggs with my fork, and mumbled. "Bloody fantastic. You?"

Marlene seemed totally oblivious to my tone, and answered cheerfully. "Great, actually."

"Evans!"

I kow that goofy voice from somewhere. I curiously twirled around in my seat and saw my nightmare (Hah, literally) walking down the aisle, alongside of sidekick Sirius Black. I could hear Marlene giggling behind me. Y'know, I've always suspected that Marlene had a thing for Black ever since our fifth year. It was one of the several times Potter asked me out to Hogsmeade, but this time it was only Sirius Black with him, and not Remus Lupin (who was probably doing something worthy - oh how admire him so for having such childish friends) and Peter Pettigrew (probably playing Wizard's Chess with one of the first years). Apparently, Marlene hadn't known him, and kept elbowing me just before Potter approached me inquiring me. When she discovered that he was best friends with my worst enemy, I think she thinks he's off limits.

Should he be?

I honestly don't know.

I wouldn't care if she did date him. It would just be a little weird.

Alright, maybe not a little.

Extremely weird.

She'd have to hang out with Black.

And for me to hang out with her, I'd have to hang out with Black as well.

Who'd probably be hanging out with Potter.

Thus, making me hang out with Potter too.

Which I wouldn't want to.

"Marlene!" Sirius Black waved, bringing his hands to his curly tendrils and brushing them away from his eyes. He, then, brought his gaze to me, and nodded. "Evans." Oh look at that, maybe he fancies her too. Or maybe he's just hostile with me because I won't agree to date his best friend. They both seem like reasonable answers.

"Is there something you needed?" I asked, boredly.

The excitement in James's eyes still remained in his eyes. Errggh. "Lily! Professor Dumbledore wanted me to tell you that tonight he wants us to discuss the month of May's schedule for Prefect duties. He wants us to hand it in by morning."

No! Not tonight!

I was really looking foward to going to Hogsmeade for a little while, since it was the last visit of the year. Traditionally, Professor Dumbledore extends curfew a few more hours in Hogsmeade. Now I have to be stuck in the common room with James bloody Potter drawing out a stupid chart for Prefect duties. That's going to be loads of fun.

"Alright, bye." He brought his hand up in a wave, and walked down the other side of the table, taking a seat beside Peter Pettigrew, who arrived shortly after Potter had. Sirius Black took a seat beside Potter, and began loading his plate with food that he porbably wouldn't finish. Maybe I shouldn't underestimate Black's hunger: I have seen him once during our third year beat a seventh year at a pie-eating contest during dinner. It was quite entertaining to see the horrified faces of our Gryffindor mates, when Sirius tossed his last plate, and I rise in his seat triumphantly, high-fiving all three of his friends.

"That should be fun," I snorted, bringing a slice of toast to my mouth.

Marlene frowned, and Alice merely snickered. "Well, I'm sure Potter's going to take full advantage of his alone time with our Lily Evans," she winked, and took a sip of her orange juice.

I nearly choked on my buttered toast. "What in Merlin's name are you talking about, Alice? Potter hasn't made a move on me once, and we've been alone loads of times during the year. What makes you think that he's going to try now?"

"Oh, Lily," she feigned a sullen face, and shook her head. "Are you as daft as your acting? I think not. You know Potter's only been friendly to you because he thinks that maybe if he befriends you, you might possibly start liking him. It's a brilliant plan, but I'm not sure it's working. You haven't shown any interest this year in the poor boy, but yet he still remains with some hope. So, tonight he's going to test out his theory and offically ask you out in a polite, geniune way, hoping that you'd agree and confess your endearing love for him. Then you'd live happily ever after."

I was sure she said that whole story in one breath. Marlene slapped Alice's arm, and narrowed her eyes at her. "Don't listen to her, I'm sure Potter's over you. He won't try to make a move because you'll kick his arse if he does." My lips quirked into a thankful smile for Marlene's quick defense, but I think all three of us knew Alice was completely correct. What if she did try to make a move on me? Would I agree? He's stopped hexing people, and has been much less arrogant. Maybe he thinks I've noticed and maybe he thinks this time I'd agree..

This is all so confusing.

I glanced down the table, and observed Potter. He caught my eye, which was met his greeting grin. I smiled back. Potter was smart, but not that smart. Could his cool charm and innocent ways just be a plot to be with me?

Wow. That's sappy.

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"I truely pity you, dear Lily Evans," Alice clapped her hands together, and titled her head to the side. I rolled my eyes, and glanced at my watch. I wasn't sure what time exactly Potter was coming but I was hoping he'd be here soon. I still had a few more essays I wanted to finish tonight before I went to bed, and I couldn't adjust my time for Potter's convenience. Pfft. That'd be the day. Six o'clock.  
I heaved a sigh, and leaned back into my matress, crushing my head into the soft pillow, my red waves hanging over my shoulders. The drapes of my four poster bed had been tied together and leaning onto my covers, allowing me to watch the four beds around me. Alice was currently getting ready for her date to Hogsmeade with Frank Longbottom, who's also in the Gryffindor House. Uh, I'm not really sure why Marlene's going to Hogsmeade. Maybe she has a date..

"Marlene?"

I assumed she hadn't heard me because she was still showing Alice her new blue top she was going to wear that day. I cleared my throat, and called a bit more loudly. "Marlene!"

She snapped her head in my direction, and knitted her brows together at my stern face. Marlene lowered her shirt to lay flatly on her bed and she walked over to my bedpost. "Yes, Lily?"

"Out of curiousity," I paused to lift my head off the pillow so my voice wouldn't sound so muffled, "who, exactly, are you going to Hogsmeade with?"

I noted the look of panic on her face, and her cheeks instantly pale from her usual pink excitement. I raised an eyebrow, and waited for her response, but nothing came out. She opened her mouth once but immediately closed it - a frown forming. "I'll tell you later tonight, if all goes as planned." Mysterious, much? I didn't purse the conversation though. I merely shrugged, and layed my head onto the soft pillow once more, and stared serenely at the maroon ceiling.

I slowly closed my eyes, and fell into slumber.

The halls of Hogwarts were completely empty. No Professors, students, or even ghosts were swarming around. My pace hurried quicker and quicker to get back to the Gryffindor common room to see what in the world was going on. The books in my hand were starting to fumble onto the ground, but I was in too much of a hurry to bend down and pick them up. They'd be returned later anyways.

He gripped my wrist fiercly, and twirled me around with such force that I tripped over the end of my robes, and tumbled harshly onto the ground with a great amount of force. The man had a mask on his face, but I could practically feel his smirk creeping onto my skin. He leaned down to grab me and I widened my eyes at this.

With the back of my hands, I began crawling backwards hoping to escape from the man, but I didn't get far seeing as I clashed into someone's legs.

I peered up worridly, hoping it wasn't another one of those masked figures. And it wasn't. The boy's face was unfamilar but for some odd reason, I had a feeling I knew who it was. He had his wand in his hand, and was pointing furiously at the taller man in front of me. The boy's hazel eyes blazing with fury and enragement. "Lily!" I knew that voice..

The sweat droplets were practically rolling down my cheeks when I awoke only a second later at the voice. I couldn't remember the person's face - oh no, who was it? This is going to bother me all Head's meeting -

HEAD'S MEETING? Oh shit, I've probably missed it.

Potter's going to kill me.

In state of worry, I stupidly didn't even bother to look at the time. If I had, I would've known that the Head's meeting didn't start until an hour later. I hadn't figured this out until I ran down the stairs and collided into a second year - harrassed them for the time - to figure this out. Talk about embarrassing. Especially since I'm the Head Girl.

I'm now laying on the leather couch, staring at the fireplace with a growing interest. The dream I just had was bothering me a lot - why was Potter rescuing me in my dream, and why was I so surprised? I've definitely visualized Potter as the hero who'd save my life, but in the dream it was like I didn't expect him to show up. Or maybe I didn't want him to show up and I've mistaken my surprise for disappointment.

My eye's slowly closed again and in a matter of moments, I fell into my dream state again.

"Potter -" I hadn't finished my sentence because James was already dueling with the masked figure. They both were performing extremely complex spells I've read in textbooks. Wow, I've never known Potter was that skilled.

I crawled against the cold, concrete, wall and lifted shakily from the ground, clutching the wall for support. "Traitor!" The voice hissed. This time, I actually know what he's talking about. One day, I was talking to Remus Lupin during our fourth year and we we're sitting in the library. Just an hour before, a group of Slytherins passed Black and Potter and mockingly laughing and calling the both of them blood traitors. Then Remus told me that the Potters were a pureblood family yet didn't support the Dark Lord. They were against the prejudice against anyone that wasn't a pureblood. On the other hand, the Black family did support the Dark Lord but Sirius hadn't. He went against his family with his Gryffindor courage, and opposed his family's beliefs. At the time, I wasn't so moved, but now.. wow.

For a moment, I just stood against the wall, gaping at James Potter's helpless body. He rolled over with a groan, and lay flat on his back, his unruly black hair covering his eyes. There was an odd feeling in my stomach - a feeling that made me want to go be to his aid. A feeling that made me want to actually help him.

I gasped and rushed to Potter's side. His eyes were drifting closed through my blury gaze. Was I crying?

"Lily, are you alright?"

I slowly fluttered my eyes open, and came face to face with a wide eye'd James Potter. He rose his hand to stroke my hair out of my face, but I automatically slapped his hand away, while shooting up from the rough couch arm. I rubbed my neck, and groaned at the growing pain. I'm never sleeping on the common room couches again. "You're late," I mumbled.

He shook his head, and grinned. "No, I'm not," he said, cheekily. "I never mentioned a time, now did I?"

I rolled my eyes and chucked the pillow at his face. "Amusing, really."

"I knew you would think so," he joked, and slipped into the seat beside me. I subconsciously glanced over at him, and noticed our close proximity. Oh no.. "Uh, Lily? Can I ask you a question?"

"Even if I said no, you will anyway," I remarked tonelessly. "So, knock yourself out, Potter."

Evidently, he ignored my rude remark. "Why were you screaming my name before?" His cheeks flushed at my narrowed eyes, and immediately shook his head, causing his black hair to fall into his eyes. Brushing it away, he rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean, Evans."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I lied simply.

"Yes, you do," he persisted, annoyingly. "I heard you say my name."

"Maybe you're just being delusional." I shrugged, avoding eye contact with James and stared at the fire absently. Actually, I find the situation a bit amusing. Did he really expect me to admit that I was having dreams about him? If I can't admit that I'm slightly attracted to him, then how am I supposed to admit that I'm having dreams about him?

This boy is surely daft.

Wait - did I just say I'm attracted to him?

Uh.

It feels sort of weird admitting it.

I peaked a glance at him. Right now he's shuffling through tattered parchments looking for our organization papers for today's Head meeting. His unruly black hair is falling right over his hazel eye as he furiously searches for that one parchment.. Hmm..

Maybe it's so bad.

You know.. fancying him.

Let's analyze this, shall we?

A) He's good looking, I can't even deny that. Actually, I haven't been able to deny that since the day I met him. Just my pride and my pet peeve of the attention he received made me so hostile towards him. Although, I'm still not that fond of his untidy ebony hair but I can tell he's trying to tame it down. Potter is also extremely tall, which I find very captivating in a boy. I've never dated anyone younger nor shorter than me.

B) Potter's well-behaved. He did make Head Boy, and I've watched him this year, and he hasn't hexed anyone either! At least, not under my eye. He's hardly ever late for Prefect meetings, and he participates in decisions when it's needed. Deflated head? Check.

"Uh, Lily?"

I blinked stupidly. "Yes, Potter?"

"Uh, we need to get started now.." he trailed off, chuckling at my state of dream-like conscious. I attempted not to crack a smile, and chucked a maroon pillow at him, which he caught (with his amazing Quidditch-like reflexes) and tossed over the couch.

"Stop acting up, we're never going to get anything done," I faltered my voice to sound much like Professor McGonnagall's and wavered my index finger at him authoritively.

"Oh, dear Professor Evans, do forgive me!" he bowed his head mimicking a shamed kid, and peered up at me with puppy eyes.

I brought my finger up to my chin, being studious. After a few seconds, I replied. "I dunno, Potter. It's going to cost you a detention, though."

Potter's eyes widened, and he clapped his hands together pleadingly. "Oh, no Professor! You musn't be so cruel."

"Tsk, tsk. Finish your Head meeting with a complete schedule of May's Prefect duties, and I might just have to let you slip on that detention," I joked, with a playful smile afterwards. My voice recoiled afterwards back to it's usual serious boring-ness. "C'mon, let's hurry this up. Hopefully I have time to get time to hear about Marlene's mysterious date before finishing homework."

Potter froze and he turned to me with a raised an eyebrow. "Mysterious date?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, I just think it's a bit of a coincidence," the typical James Potter smirk replaced the worried expression. "I mean, Padfoot said he had a date as well but wouldn't tell us Marauders about it."

"You think.." I gasped.

"Probably," he shrugged. "He's been commenting on the things she's done lately. The way she plays Quidditch, the way she puts ingriediants in her cauldron, the way she smiles.." he trailed off, but I was too awestruck to stop his babbling.

Why wouldn't she tell me that she even had a date with Sirius Black?

Would she think that I'd stop her?

I frowned. Would I have have stopped her?

"Yeah," I agreed, in a bit of a daze.

I reached down by the table to grab my quill which was laying right beside Potter's quill. Although, I hadn't been paying much attention, so I didn't notice Potter's lovely hands grab for his quill too. No, I didn't feel any magical spark burst when our hands brushed, it was a sort of internal feeling. The immediate warmeness of his hand just made me want to reach for it again. Damnit! I need to snap out of these thoughts.

He looks a big strange right now, as if he noticed the connection. I curiously raised my head to face Potter's and yet again - awkward position. Our noses were barely touching, and let me tell you; my heart was thumping a mile a minute. He's titling his head! He's tilting his head! Someone get me an oxygen mask (Muggle thing) and allow me to breathe.

Potter's mouth is barely touching mine now.

I can practically taste his peppermint breath.

"PRONGS!"

Sirius Black bursted into the common room, his Chesire cat grin engrossed on his face. His curly hair dropping over his features excitedly. As a natural instinct, I pulled away from James Potter nervously. He sighed disappointingly, and gazed over at his friend from the portrait entrance.

"Well.. I'm sure we can have this meeting again some other time, Potter," I rushed, stacking my books and papers into a neat pile, and slipped my quill into my back pocket. By the time Potter could even stand up, I was running up the girl's dormitory stairs, my red hair bouncing behind me.

"Did I interrupt something?" I heard Sirius inquire bewilderly from the common room. I bursted into the dormitory, dropping my books onto the floor, and flopped onto my bed - head first into the pillow.

Wow.

I wonder if this is going to falter my dreams somehow tonight.

Hmmmm.


End file.
